The Ballad of Catherine Willows
by candidata
Summary: The past, present and future all come together as the biggest secret of Catherine Willows life is revealed to the world, to herself and to the only one she always thought would never find out. GCR
1. Return to sender

**Disclaimer**: Not mine. _CBS_ - Thank you

**Spoilers**: None

**Rating**: CSI 3/T

**Other character:** Lori Campbell

**Summary: **The past, present and future all come together as the biggest secret of Catherine Willows life is revealed to the world, to herself and to the only one she always thought would never find out. GCR

Feedback is very helpful. Thank you.

****

**The ballad of Catherine Willows **

**  
**

_It __must have been love but it's over now_

_It must have been good but I lost it somehow_

_It must have been love but it's over now_

_From the moment we touched till the time had run out._

_**--- Roxette It must have been love **_

**Chapter one: **_"Return to sender"_

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**Las Vegas Sunrise Hospital and Medical Center**

May 10, 2007

He watched as the two women and a young girl approached him. They spoke softly with each other as they walked towards him. His eyes locked with the woman in the middle. There was something about the way her eyes shined at him. He had a distinct feeling something good was about to happen. She on the other hand had this particular feeling before. Twice actually. Suddenly a loud crash was heard and the sound of gunshots penetrated the air. He started running towards the three yelling at them to seek cover but before he could reach them he felt a sharp pain run through his entire body and then everything went black.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**Somewhere in Las Vegas**

April 10, 2007

_You don't look at their faces_

_And you don't ask their names_

_You don't think of them as human_

_You don't think of them at all_

_You keep your mind on the money_

_Keeping your eyes on the wall  
_

_**--- Tina Turner Private Dancer**_

The music belting out of the speakers hit her like a ton of bricks. She felt nauseous all of a sudden but there was no way back. This was her life now and all she could do was take a deep breath and get it over with.

She could feel all the eyes in the room zooming in on her as soon as her stiletto clad feet steeped onto the stage. As she swayed to the music she swore to herself that this would be the last time. But then again she told herself that every night.

The sound of whistling made her snap back to reality. She had done this particular routine so many times she was beginning to feel like a robot. As she swung around the pole she caught someone watching her from the back. A small crease in her forehead formed. The person watching her was not someone she had seen here before. As she prepared to remove her bra she made two perfect pirouettes and ended up with her back to the audience. Something was not right. The person watching her looked completely misplaced but moved around like a regular between the small tables. As she turned around she locked eyes with the person who was now standing quite close to the scene. Blue meet blue and stayed there regardless of her now completely naked form.

She was usually good at determining why she was being watched. She knew every look in the book. Lust, want, need or even misunderstood love. But this was different. There was something else there. She had always been good at reading people, but she had only been dancing for a little under three months. But as the youngest on stage she drew quite the audience every night.

The music came to its climax, as did her dance. She was now on the floor simulating whatever she knew the hungry eyes watching her from the tables wanted. She momentarily forgot about the new guest and concentrated on her dancing. This particular part of the show always forced her to step out of her body in order not to run of stage. Her body was there, physically, moving in tact to the music, but her mind was somewhere else.

The music faded slowly and she got up to leave. On her way out she saw the person who had caught her eye approaching, trying to make contact. She held her hand up and the person backed off. She couldn't deal with anyone, not even this person. She felt the blue eyes watching her as she walked past the thin layer of shimmering fabric symbolizing her way out. As she reached the door of the dressing room she drew a deep breath. There was an entire 24 hours until she had to be back here again. All she wanted to do was to get her things and go home.

When she stepped out the back door of the club there was someone waiting for her in the poorly lit alley. The person steeped into the light as the door slammed behind her.

"Ms. Campbell? I'm Catherine Willows"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**The crime lab**

March 10, 2007

_Just like I predicted we're at the point of no return_

_We can't go backwards and no corners have been turned_

_I can't control it if I sink or if I swim_

_Cause I chose the waters that I'm in_

Catherine entered her office; she set her Starbucks coffee on the desk and grabbed the stack of mail on her desk. She filtered through the letters while she removed her coat and sat down in her chair. She opened a few of the letters and divided the last into two stacks. One for later. One for Grissom. The second last letter in her stack made her eyebrow arch up. She leaned back in her chair slowly fanning the little off-white envelope in front of her face. She had recognized the stamp on the front immediately._  
_

_And it makes no difference_

_Who is right or wrong?_

_I deserve much more than this_

_Cause there's only one thing I want_

_If it's not what you are made of _

_You're not what I'm looking for_

_You were willing but unable to give me anymore_

_There's no way you're changing _

_Cause some thing's will just never be mine_

_You're not in love this time ... but it's all right_

It had been years since one of these letters. She wondered why it had been addressed to the lab. She always had them sent to her home address where she could read it in privacy. She let out a small sign glad that their mail was divided by someone in the human resources department this week.

Lucy (check name) from the reception had gone back east for a couple of weeks of vacation.

"Catherine do you have..." Grissom entered her office without knocking first.

Catherine was so lost in thought she dropped the letter in surprise when he entered.

"Jesus, Gil you scared me. And how about knocking before you enter a girl's private office?" she ended on a lighter note when she saw the apologetic look he gave her.

"Is something wrong" he said as he walked around to her side of the desk. And before she could do anything about it reached down and picked up the small envelope. She snatched it out of his hand even before he could hand it to her.

"Catherine I'm sorry" he said as he saw her tuck the letter into her purse.

She knew she had blown it. She should have just let him hand it to her in his own time, now she had made it obvious that the letter contained something personal and definitely not office related. She prayed he had not had time to read what the postal code had said.

"Gil it's ok. It's just…" she contemplated what to tell him, knowing she needed something good in order for him to believe it. She gave up.

"It's just private okay?" she said her eyes downcast. He reached out and touched her shoulder.

_  
I hear you talking but your words don't mean a thing_

_I doubt you ever put your heart in anything_

_It's not much to ask for to get back what I put in_

_But chose the waters that I'm in._

"Catherine you can always…. I mean if something is wrong. Then …" he was never any good at this, but this was Catherine and it was obvious that she was upset about something.

He thought about telling he but decided not to. When he picked up the envelope he read part of the sender's name.

'U.S. child services and…'

There was a moment when she lifted her eyes to his where their two souls reached out to each other like they so many times before but both of them quickly withdrew. Saying it out loud or even worse making an actual move towards what they once had was out of the question. They had both said and done things, and it was water under the bridge. At least that was what kept telling themselves all these years later.

_What's your definition of the one?_

_What do you really want him to become?_

_No matter what I sacrifice it's still never enough.__  
_

When Nick knocked on her office door only seconds later they had both composed themselves and were the epiphany of professionalism.

_If it's not what you are made of _

_You're not what I'm looking for_

_You were willing but unable to give me anymore_

_There's no way you're changing _

_Cause some thing's will just never be mine_

_You're not in love this time_

_  
_**--- Lucie Silvas What you're made of  
**

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**END OF CHAPTER ONE **


	2. A change is gonna come

**Disclaimer**: Not mine. _CBS_ - Thank you

**Spoilers**: None

**Rating**: CSI 3/T

**Other character:** Lori Campbell

**Summary: **The past, present and future all come together as the biggest secret of Catherine Willows life is revealed to the world, to herself and to the only one she always thought would never find out.

Feedback is very helpful. Thank you.

**Chapter two: **_"A change is gonna come"_

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**Somewhere in Las Vegas  
**

April 10, 2007

Listen I am alone at crossroad

I'm not at home in my own home

And I try to try to say what's on my mind

You should have known

Now I'm done believing you

You don't know what I feeling

I'm more than what you made of me

I followed the voice you gave to me

But now I gotta find my own

I don't know where I belong

But I'll be moving on

If you don't... If you won't ...listen

**- Beyoncé Listen**

Lori stepped back as she took in the person slowly approaching. The woman was probably in her early forties. She was wearing black pants, black leather boots and a black winter wool trench coat. Her strawberry blonde hair was slightly curled and came down just below her shoulders. And had it not been for the very strong light from the one working street lamp no one would have noticed nothing but her beautiful and fine-featured face. But as she turned a little Lori noticed that the women before her had been trying to hide a big gash on her right cheek-bone with make up.

"Yes" Lori answered with hesitation wondering how the complete stranger in front of her knew her name. Had it not been because the mere presence of a woman at her show had sparked an interest she would have been long gone by now.

"I'm with the Las Vegas crime lab, we need your help" Catherine Willows held out her badge as she eyed the young woman in front of her. She could not be more than 18 or 19 at the most. Her hair was long and curly and cascaded down her back in thick golden curls. Her face was almost doll like with big blue eyes and her fair skin was lightly suntanned. Close up Catherine could see the big fake eye lashed soaked in mascara and the heavy layer of make up. There was no doubt she was a beautiful young woman but the make up made it hard to really see.

Lori shifted uncomfortably in her high heels and drew her thin jacket closer. The wind was unusually cold that night.

"I'm really sorry, but if you don't mind I really have to go. My bus is leaving in five."

Catherine Willows took one look at the young woman and knew she was lying. But instead of calling her on it she decided to take another chance. She needed the young woman's help. Lori cursed at herself inwards. She had made a promise to herself. No more lying. But bad habits were hard to break.

"Let me buy you a cup of coffee first? I really need your help!" she said seeing Lori obviously responding to the now more personal request. Lori actually felt comfortable around the red-haired criminalist.

"Lori, we need to get this guy. Let me buy you a cup of coffee and then I'll take you home after we've talked, okay?" Catherine Willows liked this young woman and wanted to work with her, more than any of the other young women they had contemplated using for this unusual task.

Lori didn't know what to say. But eventually she shrugged on her shoulders and followed Catherine Willows to her car. It had been like forever since she had gone out for coffee, or even gone out at all for that sake. All she ever did was work, sleep and stay locked up inside her small room. As Lori opened the front door in the passenger side a small hair clip with a metallic blue butterfly fell to the ground.

She leaned down to pick it up. As she settled in the seat, she handed Catherine the hair clip.

"Oh, thank you so much. This is my daughter's favorite hair clip. I cannot believe it was here; we've been looking for it all over the place at home. I was sure she lost it" Catherine said, adding to herself that she now felt sorry for the huge fight that had followed.

"It's beautiful" Lori said watching how the wings caught the light as Catherine placed the pin in the front window.

Catherine caught the melancholic look on the young girl's face and felt a slight déjà vu. Years ago this life had been hers. She knew why she liked Lori more than the other possible decoys. And she knew she had to snap out of it. Grissom would call her on it instantly if he found out. She sighed lightly. They had been on so limited-speaking terms lately she wondered if he even cared any more. The pit in her stomach when she thought of him was becoming so big she didn't know what to do anymore. She missed him. But right now she was working.

"Yes it is, Lindsey loves it" she told Lori.

"How old is your daughter?" Lori asked wondering why the older woman had looked like the whole world was coming to an end just before. She decided not to meddle in. That had already cost her way too much in the past.

"Lindsey is thirteen" Catherine said suddenly remembering she had to stay professional.

"Ms. Willows, why did you want to talk me?" Lori asked. Suddenly feeling a little less at ease. She didn't know where they were going exactly.

"Call me Catherine"

"Ok, Catherine, what did you want to discuss with me?

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**The crime lab **

March 10, 2007

Catherine and Grissom followed Nick to the break room for a briefing on their newest case. A case that required the full attention of all involved. Grissom observed Catherine from across the table as Warrick laid out the details he had been looking into.

Catherine looked up to catch Grissom watching her. She smiled slightly before her attention went back to Warrick. But she felt Grissom's eyes still on her, even when he answered Sara and Nick.

"No you two have to work the case Brass called in an hour ago. I'll be taking Warrick and Cath with me. Greg and Sophia are doing some paperwork and can be called in if necessary." He held a short pause, and the others saw how he kept staring at Catherine who was determined not to look at him. She kept staring at the file before her.

"Catherine..." she responded to his soft request. Looking up she saw that the others had left the room and he was taking a seat beside her.

"I'm fine Gil" she tried to cut off any other requests about her personal situation trying to make him believe things were just fine. But when he reached over and slowly took her hand she flinched and withdrew her hand in an instant. Her eyes snapped up to his. And for a second she could have sworn she saw love but with her sharp withdrawal his caring look also disappeared.

"Catherine this case will require full attention, are you up for it or should I take Greg with me?" he said in a cool and collected professional tone. She could feel her inside freeze at the impersonal request. 

"No I'm game" she told him with a small smile. They both rose and she picked up the folder in front of her. It read: The use of decoys in undercover work/ CSI Supervisor level.

"Let me just grab my coat and I'll be ready to go" she said over her shoulder as she began walking to the wardrobe. She had to focus on work now. The letter in her purse was burning in her mind but she had to wait. And with that she shut her personal life and feelings down and put on her professional armor as she had so many times before. 

She had read the memo inside the file before. A serial killer going after young classically trained female dancers. Ten young women from all over the country had come to Las Vegas with their dreams and dancing shoes but had all ended up in the ally behind the same hotel. The media was all over this case. Ecklie had been singled out as a bad director since they had still not caught the killer and Warrick had been on this case since the beginning, since he knew one of the killed dancer's sister. So now they were off to find a decoy. Something Catherine already thought was a really bad idea. 

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**Nevada Ballet Theater**

**1651 Inner Circle, Las Vegas**

March 10, 2007

Catherine and Grissom walked into the ending of a class. The big room was a typical dance hall. Parquet floor, though worn, mirrors on the walls and a ballet barre on each sides of the room. Pictures of ballet dancers decorated the end wall and speakers in each corner gave musical support to the dancers on the floor. A group of around ten young women were spread out on the floor stretching after a lesson of technical improvements on jumps and turns. They were dressed in black tights, tight tank tops or loose shirts hanging from their shoulders revealing a black, white or flesh colored tight satin top. Some of them wore legwarmers and most of them had tape around toes, ankles or the instep of the foot.

As Grissom approached the teacher, a woman in her early thirties with thick deep chocolate brown hair in a tight ponytail and piercing blue eyes, the younger women got up and began getting ready to leave. A couple of them gave Grissom a curious look but most of them just kept to themselves.

Catherine decided to let Grissom speak to the teacher by himself, she followed the women out into the hall. She walked around for a while outside the dance hall. She turned a corner and walked down a couple of small hallways. She just kept walking turning a corner when she came to one. At the end of the last hall of them there was a door with a small window. As she approached she heard music seeping out into the hallway.

_Your arms are warm but they make me feel_

_As if they're made of cold, cold steel_

_A simple kiss like a turnin' key_

_A little click and the lock's on me_

_Can't move my arms, can't lift my hands_

_I won't admit to where I am_

_But I know baby, I'm in chains_

_I'm in chains_

It was like the lyrics of the song drew Catherine to the window in the door. And what she saw when she looked in made her step back for a second. A young woman in her late teens or early twenties was dancing to the song.

_I pretend I can always leave_

_Free to go whenever I please_

_But then the sound of my desperate calls_

_Echo off these dungeon walls_

_I've crossed the line from mad to sane_

_A thousand times and back again_

_I love you baby, I'm in chains_

_I'm in chains_

_I'm in chains_

_I'm in chains  
_

The young woman was wearing high-healed tan colored professional dancing shoes, she wore a soft cotton black dress. It was loose on the top and had long butterfly-like sleeves with small creases, the lower part was tight from her midriff and down to just below her bottom. Her legs were bare and her movements seducing as she swayed to the music. She was a trained dancer, no doubt, but this routine belonged anywhere than on the stage of the ballet theater.

_Should have known passing through the gate_

_That once inside I could not escape_

_I never thought this could happen to me_

_Never thought this is where I'd be_

_But baby, baby, baby, look at me_

_Baby, baby, look at me, I'm in chains_

_I'm in chains_

Catherine couldn't believe her own eyes. Because it wasn't just the sexy dancing and high heels that fascinated her. It was the young woman's appearance. She had strawberry blond hair in soft curls that came down to just below her shoulder blades, blue eyes and fair skin. And just as the young dancer was about to turn to catch Catherine watching her, Catherine felt a hand on her shoulder.

She turned and struck out as if she had been burned. Grissom took a step back and took a long hard look at her. She looked flustered. Something in the room behind her had surely had an effect on her. He tried to step around her to glance into the room. But Catherine was quicker and pulled him with her down the hall. He got her message loud and clear. And decided once again to let her get her way. They stopped at the end of the hall and talking about the reaction to the decoy idea. Catherine glanced back over her shoulder and caught the young woman staring at her. She had just finished her routine workout and was getting ready to go home. As she opened the door she saw a man and a woman standing at the end of the hallway. He had his hand on her arm, slowly stroking it. She didn't seem to notice. When they turned to walk she turned her head and saw the young woman. They locked eyes and the recognition was instant. _  
_

_I never thought this is where I'd be_

_Never thought this could happen to me_

- **Tina Arena Chains**

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**Las Vegas Sunrise Hospital and Medical Center**

May 10, 2007 

He woke to a dim lit room. He couldn't feel a thing and all he could hear was the faint beeping. It came from somewhere beside him. He turned his head and heard himself wince softly. His eyes were slowly adjusting and he could now make out a machine on his right and he could now feel the pinching in his right hand from an IV-drop. He tried to remember, what had happened but all he could remember was Catherine walking towards him. Suddenly everything came screaming back to him. Catherine, was she all right? He tried to sit up but couldn't. He then heard something, someone walking by whilst talking outside his room. He turned his head towards the sound and saw her.

Catherine was sitting in a chair besides his hospital bed. Her head was resting to the side on the back of the chair, her hair in a mess and her shirt had blood stains on it. She was asleep her chest slowly rising and falling with every breath. Her hands resting in her lab. Her head turned slightly in her sleep and caught a bit more light. He could see the dried tears on her cheeks and felt miserable knowing that he had put them there. He had promised her nothing bad would ever happen again, that they had finally made it through. All he wanted to do was to hold her in his arms and let her know that he was fine and that everything would be all right.

She stirred as she woke and opened her eyes to his. Blue met blue and she felt herself tear up. 

"Hey you" she whispered.

"Cath I'm sorry" he said reaching out for her. She nearly leaped from the chair and onto his bed. She clutched his hand and laid her head on his chest. 0

"You scared me" was all she could say before the tears prevented her from saying anything more.

"What happened" he asked stroking her hand.

"He came her looking for her. You somehow stepped out in front of the two bullets that were meant for her. He was shot and killed by a guard from the hospital. I don't know what to...I just want you to know... Thank you" she said tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Catherine I love you" was all he could say before tears also prevented him from speaking. 

She drew the chair closer to the bed and sat down learning over and laying her head on his chest again. His hand stroked her hair until they both fell asleep.

He awoke when a young female doctor entered the room. She reminded him of his mother when she was young. They locked eyes and he gestured to her to keep quiet. Catherine was still sleeping.

"Mr. Grissom I'm Dr. Goodwin, I need to check your wounds. The first bullet went straight through your shoulder. But the second penetrated close to your spine. We were lucky, we removed it and you will just as good as new." she said.

She reached for his right arm but needed him to move in order to see remove the bandage.

"Mr. Grissom your wife needs to move, and I don't think she should be sleeping in that position anyway. She hasn't slept in two days and she surely needs her rest now and..."

"She's not my wife" he said in a small voice scared that Catherine would wake up. He knew now that he would ask for her hand in marriage as soon as she would allow him, but he didn't want to do it in front of the doctor.

"Oh Mr. Grissom I'm sorry, I just though that... well, the obstetrician must have gotten it wrong"

"The what?" Grissom couldn't believe his own ears.

"The... Oh my God, I just made a big mistake didn't I" Dr. Goodwin said. 

Grissom looked down at the still sleeping Catherine, she still slept and felt warm happiness flow through him.

"Is any of our friends out there?" he hinted towards the door.

"Yes, do you need me to get them?"

"Can you see if Nick is there?" he asked

She finished checking her wounds and left. Only seconds later Nick softly knocked on the door. Grissom motioned for him to be quiet as he approached.

"Hey Gris, how are you feeling?"

"I'm gonna live, but we need to get Catherine out of here and into a real bed. She needs real sleep, and I cannot carry her. You need to help me. Can you carry her to the room opposite from here? There should be a bed ready for her."

Nick nodded and walked over to Catherine. He slowly put his arm under her legs and around her back and began lifting her but she began to stir and talk in he sleep.

"No, Grissom, please don't leave me. I don't know how to do this alone again, please don't... Grissom...no ...no" she began to whimper softly and wouldn't let go of Grissom's hand.  
Nick looked at Grissom with pain in his eyes. Grissom felt his heart break at her words. He signaled to Nick to put her back down and she instantly relaxed.

Dr. Goodwin had been observing the three persons and felt her heart go out to the sleeping woman. She nodded reassuring at Grissom and stepped out of the room only to return with a smaller hospital bed. It was set up next to Grissom's and Catherine was lifted onto it. She only woke slightly when Nick lifted her.

"Nicky?" she said in a confused tone.

"It's ok Catherine, he is fine, and you need to sleep now." Nick said as he placed her in the bed. As the others cleared the room she sat up a little and look over at Grissom. 

"Catherine sleep now, I'll be fine" he told her reassuringly.

She smiled at him and was about to lay down when she decided against it and climbed down and padded over to his side.

"Gil I have to tell you something" she told him and reached for his left hand. He nodded at her signaling she should go on. She took his hand and placed it on her abdomen.

"Gil, I'm pregnant" as soon as the words had left her mouth she was sure they were going to be all right. She was finally doing something right. 

_Well I just heard the news today _

_It seems my life is going to change _

_I closed my eyes, begin to pray _

_Then tears of joy stream down my face _

_With arms wide open _

_Under the sunlight _

_Welcome to this place _

_I'll show you everything _

_With arms wide open _

_With arms wide open _

_Well I don't know if I'm ready _

_To be the man I have to be_

_I'll take a breath, I'll take her by my side_

_We stand in awe, we've created life  
_**- Creed With arms wide open**

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**END OF CHAPTER TWO**


	3. Breathe in life

**Disclaimer**: Not mine. _CBS_ - Thank you

**Spoilers**: None

**Rating**: CSI 3/T

**Other character:** Lori Campbell

**Summary: **The past, present and future all come together as the biggest secret of Catherine Willows life is revealed to the world, to herself and to the only one she always thought would never find out.

Feedback is very helpful. Thank you.

**Chapter three: **_"Breathe in life"_

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&0&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**Carson Street Cafe**

129 Fremont St

Las Vegas

April 10, 2007

Two women entered the Carson Street Café and sat down at a booth in the back. The older a beautiful redhead with a slight sway in her walk. The younger a blond longhaired with a lot of make up and high stiletto heals that hit the floor with a high clicks as they walked to the booth.

Catherine motioned for Lori to sit down. She signaled to the waitress and sat down opposite Lori.

"You hungry?" she asked the young woman. Catherine had caught her eyeing the food on every table they had passed on their short walk to their booth. Lori shrugged her shoulders but then nodded slightly when she saw the piercing look Catherine gave her.

"Listen if we are going to work together we need to be honest with each other" Catherine said before she could stop herself. Honesty was not her strongest side but when she saw the small smile in Lori's eyes she knew she had said just the right thing.

The waitress came down to them to take their order.

"I'll have the tropical fruit salad served with date nut bread lathered with cream cheese and a cup of coffee, thank you" Catherine said.

"I'll have the same" Lori said before she had a chance to check out the prices.

"Oh no... I'm sorry I need to change that, I'll just have a coffee" she corrected herself. Feeling embarrassed, she was going on her last c-note and April still had a lot of meals left. She felt her cheeks go red and looked down.

Catherine immediately sensed what the younger woman was struggling with.

"Bring her what she ordered" she said to the waitress and then added:

"And please bring us a big strawberry-banana smoothie first, thank you".

The waitress left and Lori looked at Catherine, who just shock her head a little.

"Don't worry about it, it's on me. I know what it's like to be on your last c-note. I've been there believe me." She saw how the younger woman relaxed a little and smiled at her. There was something about her smile that reminded her about Lindsey. Catherine knew she had to finish up here and spend some time with Lindsey tomorrow morning. It was her bad conscience catching up on her. The more she thought of Lindsey the more she saw her in everything and everyone.

"Catherine can I ask you something" Lori suddenly asked, after having observed the woman across from her completely zoom out for a minute. Catherine nodded at her.

"Is Lindsey an only child?" Catherine was taken aback. Why was Lori asking her that?

"Yes" she answered hesitantly. She hated lying but she had become pretty darn good at it over the last 19 years.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&0&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**Catherine Willows' home**

March 11, 2007

_Heaven bent to take my hand_

_And lead me through the fire_

_Be the long awaited answer_

_To a long and painful fight_

"Hi mom, work good?" Catherine was greeted by her daughter. She dropped the car keys and purse on the kitchen table and sat down at the kitchen table watching her daughter getting ready to go to school.

"Yes, it was" There it was again. Lying. But she couldn't help herself. And by the way it was no use involving Lindsey anyway.

"Mom remember I have ballet class this afternoon, will you be able to pick me up or should I just ask grandma?" Lindsey said almost sure her mother would refer to her own mother, but she was surprised.

"What was that? Ballet class, sure I'll pick you up. Five o'clock fine?" Catherine asked already contemplating what she would do at the Nevada Ballet Theater before she picked up Lindsey. She could still feel the young woman's eyes watching her. Burning into her like she was the worst creature that had ever walked on this earth. She felt sick just by thinking of it.

"MOM!" Lindsey had been trying to get her mother's attention for a while now.

"Sorry, Linds. I'm just tired... not that's not it...I gotta stop this ly... Sorry baby, I just have a lot on my mind" Catherine told her daughter and gave her a big hug and a kiss on the top of her head breathing in the scent from her hair, before she sent her off to school. 

She walked upstairs to her bedroom and fell down on her bed. She lay sprawled on her bed for a couple of minutes just trying to still her ragged breathing. Then she remembered. She got up and ran down the stairs to the kitchen like she was being chased. She grabbed her purse and was back in her bedroom with the door closed to the outside world in no more than two minutes.

_Truth be told I've tried my best_

_But somewhere along the way_

_I got caught up in all there was to offer_

_And the cost was so much more than I could bear_

_Though I've tried, I've fallen..._

_I have sunk so low_

_I have messed up_

_Better I should know_

_So don't come round here_

_And tell me I told you so..._

She sat down on the bed and emptied the contents of her purse out on the bed. She was crying but didn't really notice. She sorted through her calendar, a couple of tissues, a Chanel lip-gloss, a foundation, an Elisabeth Arden 8-hour cream, two business cards, and several other things before she found it. She sat with the envelope in her hands for a good five minutes before she finally turned it over and opened it. She felt all her color drain from her face as her eyes raced down the piece of paper. When she was finished reading she suddenly got up and ran to the bathroom where she barely made it to the toilet before she threw up. She was crying so hard it made it hard for her to breathe.

She leaned her head against the cold side of the toilet for a minute before slowly getting up and looking into the mirror.

_We all begin with good intent_

_Love was raw and young_

_We believed that we could change ourselves_

_The past could be undone_

_But we carry on our backs the burden_

_Time always reveals_

_The lonely light of morning_

_The wound that would not heal_

_It's the bitter taste of losing everything_

_That I have held so dear._

_Though I've tried, I've fallen..._

_I have sunk so low_

_I have messed up_

_Better I should know_

_So don't come round here_

_And tell me I told you so..._

"I am a horrible person and a horrible mother" she said out loud. The words hit her like a ton of bricks even though it was what she was thinking. She turned on the cold water in the sink and splashed some water on her face and cleansed her mouth.

She turned around and looked back at her bed at the letter on it. She walked back slowly. Very slowly hoping it was all a bad dream. She was nearly by the bed when the phone rang. She almost jumped out of her skin. Without even thinking she picked it up.

"Willows" she said realizing her voice was thick with tears.

"Catherine" she almost collapsed when she heard who was calling. She could hear the worry in his voice. Why? Why did he of all people have to call right now. She took a deep breath before answering.

"Yes Gil, what's up?" she said hoping she'd sound more calm and collected now.

"Catherine!" she knew she was busted. He always knew, even before she did. It had always been that way. So why had he never known about this?

"Gil I can't really talk right now. I'll call you back later okay?" she heard him sigh and took it as a yes.

She hung up and sat down on the bed. She picked up the now empty envelope. It had a stamp from the National Adoption Centre on the front. She prayed Grissom would not have known right off the top of his head what NAC stood for. But Las Vegas/US. Child Services had apparently also been involved because their stamp was also on the envelope.

She felt a big knot in her stomach for as she reached for the letter. She reread the beginning:

"March 8, 2007

Ms. Catherine Willows,

The state of Nevada has officially ended its commitments and closed your file. Your daughter (S.I.G) has decided to forego any future reunions and has requested that all the money you have set up for her would be given back to you as soon as possible.

For your information, S.I.G. initiated this herself back in January 2007 and have been in close contact with out representative in her area.

Furthermore, she has asked that you would not be given any forward address or contact information of any sort, now or in the future.

We hope you will respect your daughter's wishes.

Kind regards

Julia Rosenberg

Director, Children and Youth Services - Chief, Adoption Branch, NAC"

_Heaven bent to take my hand_

_Nowhere left to turn_

_I'm lost to those I thought were friends_

_To everyone I know_

_Oh they turned their heads embarrassed_

_Pretend that they don't see_

_But it's one missed step_

_You'll slip before you know it_

_And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed_

**- Sarah Mclachlan Fallen**

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&0&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**Las Vegas Sunrise Hospital and Medical Center**

May 11, 2007

Catherine woke early with a start when someone knocked something on the floor outside the hospital room. She was back in the bed Dr. Goodwin had put in for her but she knew she had fallen asleep in Grissom's arms last night. Someone must have lifted me back, she thought. And she was right. Warrick had been by during the night to make sure things were ok. Grissom had been awake just watching her sleep, feeling her stomach rise and fall under his palm when Warrick slowly opened the door. He did as Nick the day before, but this time she was so deep asleep she did not realize she was being moved. She missed his embrace already. So much it hurt.

She smiled her hand slowly stroking her lower abdomen. She couldn't believe she had ever feared telling him. He was so happy. He had cried when she let him stroke the soft skin on her abdomen underneath her shirt. She had cried as well, remembering how much she had wished he had been there to do that in the past. But they had talked, they had yelled, fought and cried. And she had gotten the scars to prove it. But then in the end they had finally made up and made love. They were past the past and ready for the future.

She crept out of her bed and tip toed over to Grissom's bed. He was still sleeping so she sat down in the chair drawing the blanket from her bed around her. She sat there watching the sun rising and the rays of the sun slowly warming her and hitting the face of the man she loved and had loved for more than 20 years.

She thought back to that night almost two months ago. The night they became one again. Not only physically but first and foremost emotionally. They had both started living again on that faithful night. And they had created life. A future. Something to build on and go from.

She felt tears slowly slide down her cheeks at the thought of it. She looked over at Grissom and saw he was watching her, teary-eyed as well. She reached over and grabbed his hand and they just stayed like that watching as the entire room was slowly lit up by thousands of sparkling rays from the sun.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&0&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

_It still feels like our first night together_

_Feels like the first kiss and_

_It's gettin' better baby_

_No one can better this_

_I'm still holding on and you're still the one_

_The first time our eyes met it's the same feelin' I get_

_Only feels much stronger and I wanna love ya longer_

_You still turn the fire on_

_So if you're feelin' lonely, don't_

_You're the only one I'd ever want_

_I only wanna make it good_

_So if I love ya a little more than I should_

_Please forgive me I know not what I do_

_Please forgive me I can't stop lovin' you_

_Don't deny me_

_This pain I'm going through_

_Please forgive me_

_If I need ya like I do_

_Please believe me_

_Every word I say is true_

_Please forgive me I can't stop loving you_

_Still feels like our best times are together_

_Feels like the first touch_

_We're still gettin' closer baby_

_Can't get close enough I'm still holdin' on_

_You're still number one I remember the smell of your skin_

_I remember everything_

_I remember all your moves_

_I remember you_

_I remember the nights ya know I still do_

_One thing I'm sure of_

_Is the way we make love_

_And the one thing I depend on_

_Is for us to stay strong_

_With every word and every breath I'm prayin'_

_That's why I'm sayin'..._

_Please forgive me I know not what I do_

_Please forgive me I can't stop lovin' you_

_Don't deny me_

_This pain I'm going through_

_Please forgive me_

_If I need ya like I do_

_Please believe me_

_Every word I say is true_

_Please forgive me I can't stop loving you_

**- Bryan Adams Please forgive me**

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&0&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**Nevada Ballet Theater**

**1651 Inner Circle, Las Vegas**

March 11, 2007

For some reason Catherine felt memories from their only night together occupied her mind as she drove to pick up Lindsey. She rarely let herself relish in the memories of that night, but somehow everything that had happened in the last couple of days had made it all come back.

She had willed herself to forget all about for years and years. Right after that faithful night she would not be able to concentrate around him. Almost flinching at every touch or look, but she had learned her lesson. Never get to close or you might get burned. Badly. So she had become the beacon of professionalism and denial. She was getting pretty good at it too. So good she had convinced herself she loved Eddie enough to marry him. She thanked God every day they had been together after Lindsey was born for the only good thing he ever gave her.

With Grissom it had been different. She could still feel his lips on her neck, hands on her body and the way he had held her before during and after their lovemaking. She would never forget. Partly because he was the only one who had done that for her and partly because she didn't want to forget.

"Damn it" she cursed out loud hitting the steering wheel as she shut down the engine outside the Ballet Theater. She let her head sink down on her crossed arms on the steering wheel and took a couple of cleansing breaths.

"Ma'am are you all right?" she looked up to see a young woman tapping lightly on the window. She was probably twice Lindsey's age, her blond hair was pulled back in a tight bun in her head and she wore a thin white cardigan over her ballet workout clothes.

Catherine signaled at the young woman to steep back and she opened the door and steeped out.

"I'm fine, I was wondering if you could help. I'm looking for someone." Catherine said as they began walking towards the building.

"You're Lindsey's mother aren't you?" the other asked thinking Catherine was there looking for her daughter.

"Well, yes but I am actually looking for someone else. Lindsey is not done with class until five." The young dancer looked at her confused for a moment but then her entire face lit up.

"Hey, you work down at CSI right? Is it something about a case? Cool..." she said enthusiastically. 

Catherine shock her head and held the door for the younger woman.

"I'm looking for eh..." Catherine suddenly remembered she had no name, neither did she remember exactly where in the building she had seen the young woman from yesterday dancing.

"I'm looking for a young female dancer with strawberry blond curly long hair, blue eyes, around 20, she does not only do ballet here" Catherine tried to explain.

"So basically yourself in a younger version" the young woman said without realizing what she was implying. Before Catherine could find her tongue she continued:

"You wanna talk to Anna, she'll know. She knows all of us."

"Anna?" 

"She is our costume designer. Has been her for 20 years at least. We all love her, she is the best. Always ready to make last minute changes. Just go down there and make a right turn at the end of the hallway. It's down the stairs, you can't miss it."

"Thank you very much" Catherine said feeling like she could hug the woman in front of her. Instead she turned at started walking in the direction given to her.

"Hey, tell her Caroline will be down with her Swan lake tricot later. And give my best to Lindsey"

Catherine walked down the hallway, made a turn right and walked slowly down the stairs. She was at the second last step when she stopped. She stood for a while contemplating her options. She shock her head and turned to leave when the door was opened and an old woman with fine features, white hair in a bun similar to Caroline's and dressed entirely in black looked at her.

"Was there something you wanted dear, or were you just gonna stand outside here on the steps all day long?" she said in a soft voice.

Anna looked at the woman on the staircase. She was beautiful, her strawberry blond hair flowing around her face. Her blue eyes seeking hers. She instantly reminded her of someone else. Someone who had recently joined the Ballet Theater. She was about to tell the woman on the stairs that when she saw the tears in the younger woman's eyes. She then gently reached out for her arm and pulled her down the last two steeps and into her dressmaker workroom.

_Now I know_

_There is no other_

_Love like a mother's love for her child_

_And I know_

_A love so complete_

_Someday must leave_

_Must say goodbye_

_Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear_

_Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near_

_Someday you'll say that word and I will cry_

_It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye_

**- Celine Dion Goodbye's (The saddest word)**

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**END OF CHAPTER THREE**


	4. Secrets and revelations

**Chapter four: **"Secrets and revelations"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&0&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**Carson Street Cafe**

129 Fremont St

Las Vegas

April 10, 2007 

Lori and Catherine sat in silence. Both of them lost in thought. Catherine feeling bad that she was not there for Lindsey. Lori confused. What did Catherine want with her? The waitress came with their orders. 

"Catherine, why am I here?" Lori asked. She suddenly felt very uncomfortable. This was not what she had been expecting. The women opposite her had said little or close to nothing in the last 15 minutes.

"I'm going to get straight to the case here okay?" Catherine said watching as the girl eyed her with a suspicion she felt was vaguely familiar.

Catherine contemplated just how much she was going to tell Lori. Some things were better kept a secret for as long as possible. She sighed remembering how she had sworn than secrets and lies would be a thing of the past just a couple of hours ago.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&0&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**Nevada Ballet Theater**

**1651 Inner Circle, Las Vegas**

March 11, 2007

Catherine stepped into the dressmaking room. She looked around at the miles and miles of costumes hanging down, laying or sitting everywhere. White, pale pink and flesh colored ballet dresses dominated the rows but black, red, blue, greens and yellows were also present. She stepped closer and her hand reached out to touch one of the feather like dresses.

"I've never seen you here before" Anna said.

"Yeah... I work most nights so my mother usually picks up my daughter" Catherine felt usually at ease with this older woman.

"Oh I see, well she is a wonderful dancer and so beautiful, I knew she was your daughter as soon as I saw you" Anna told Catherine as she poured her a glass of water. Anna watched as Catherine drank the water.

"Thank you" Catherine handed her the glass. And was about to get up.

"Well, I'd better get going" she said not feeling like this was the right time to ask about the young woman from yesterday.

"You know you daughter really has a special gift and you can just see how much she loves to dance" Anna said as she gestured for Catherine to sit back down.

"Well, thank you and I love to watch her, unfortunately I rarely make it to her classes, but I'm here today and I think I should get going because her class ends in..." Catherine for some reason heard herself speaking faster and faster. But she was interrupted.

"I didn't mean Lindsey. I meant your other daughter," Anna said noticing how all the color in Catherine's face disappeared as her eyes snapped up and went to hers.

"Yeah, I thought so" Anna said. She saw the tears begin to slowly slide down Catherine's cheeks.

"Dear don't cry. Sure knows she has, I guess she must take after you" Anna said giving Catherine a small hug before reaching over and grabbing a tissue from the box on the table.

"She told me she had seen you, so I figured you'd be back as soon as possible." Catherine felt like the entire world was zooming in on her. She felt like she was going to pass out.

It was her daughter she had seen dancing yesterday. She was here, after all these years. Maybe there still was a chance. But then Catherine remembered the letter.

"My dear, everybody makes mistakes" the sound of Anna's voice brought her back to reality.

"The real issue is how they correct them" In an instance Catherine was up and out the door. She ran up the stairs and back to the entrance where she found Lindsey, who was just finishing.

"Mom" Lindsey gave her mother a big hug "You came to pick me up. Can we go now?" Catherine nodded. The information she had just received had completely swept away all rationality.

"Let's go home Linds" They drove home, Lindsey talking about her new routine. Catherine pretending to be listening.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&0&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**Las Vegas Sunrise Hospital and Medical Center**

May 11, 2007

He woke to some disturbing sounds. At first he had trouble recognizing where he was in the first place. Then he realized what he was hearing. It was Catherine in the adjoining hospital room bathroom throwing up.

He suddenly didn't care about pain or bullet wounds all he wanted to do was to get to her. But as he tried to get up he had to admit that there was no way he was going to make it to her in time.

"Oh my God" he heard her saying in-between convulsions.

He frantically kept on pressed his emergency button, calling out for help.

"Catherine honey, I've called for help" before he got an answer two nurses bolted into the room.

"Mr. Grissom" they both said.

"Not me her..." he pointed to the bathroom and they both ran to her. When they got to the bathroom, Catherine was on her knees in front of toilet. Every time she retched, Grissom felt like he was being punched in the stomach.

"God," her voice was quivering. "I have nothing to throw up. Could you please get me a glass of water?"

One of the nurses ran to the pitcher besides Grissom's bed.

Catherine was sitting with her back against the wall when the nurse got back. She was a ghastly shade of gray and the hair around her face had become wet with sweat and was sticking to her forehead and cheeks. As soon as she saw the nurse she grabbed for the glass and took a big gulp.

"Slow down," the nurse tried to warn her but it was too late. She groaned, thrust the glass back at the nurse and lunged toward the toilet. The few ounces of water she'd managed to ingest came right back up.

"I should have known better," she muttered as she slumped against the wall again.

"Take sips," she was instructed as the glass was handed back to her.

Catherine sat back and took a couple of deep breaths. Then she went to Grissom's bed.

He hated the fact that he could not be there for here, holding her hair back, stroking her back and kissing her neck. He was frustrated but she didn't let him. He held out his hand and she held onto it like she was holding on for life. He looked at her, again amazed at how beautiful she truly was. He started to say something but she cut him off.

"Don't you dare feel like you are depriving me of anything. Gil, you've given me everything and more" she put his hand over hers on her lower abdomen.

"I'm just a little older than I was last time and even though I might not feel a day older inside my body tells me something else. I'm going to be fine, I just need to take better care of myself." She told him.

"If anything ever happened to you.." he felt himself tear up.

"Gil we've made it through, from now on it is pure happiness" Catherine whispered before she leaned down and kissed him deeply.

_Ever since you came into my life_

_I've been feeling more alive_

_Now that I found_

_That real love never dies_

_Could be you and I_

_I just hope that this time it's right_

_I wanna hold you all through the night_

_I just wish that this love is right_

_I wanna be with you day and night_

_I wanna shout_

_I wanna tell the world _

_That everything's allright_

_I wanna hold you, baby,_

_Close to me_

_All through the night_

_When it's dark _

_Our love will be the light_

**Julie Shout (Our love will be our the light)**

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&0&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**Catherine Willows' home**

March 11, 2007

"Mom, are you going to get out of the car?" Catherine realized they were parked outside their house. She had no idea of how long they had been there, or how she had ever been able to drive home.

"Sorry Linds" They got out of the car and walked into the house.

"There you two are. I was waiting for you" Lily came up and gave Lindsey a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Go get your things and I'll drop you of before I go over to Nancy's" Lindsey nodded and gave her grandmother a hug.

Catherine looked at her mother with confusion.

"Don't tell me you've forgotten Catherine. Lindsey is going to Laurie's house for a sleepover and I'm going to join your sister for dinner." Lily looked at her daughter. She was worried. Normally Catherine wouldn't forget about Lindsey's sleepovers, because she so rarely let Lindsey participate in them.

"Oh, yes of course mom." Catherine actually let out an audible sigh of relief. She wanted to be alone, so the other two leaving suited her perfectly. She gave Lindsey a kiss as she sprinted past her with her sleepover backpack and a stack of CDs in her hand.

"Bye mom, have a great night" Lindsey was almost out the door, and Lily was putting her coat when Lindsey stopped and turned.

"Mom call Grissom and have him come over. I don't want you be alone" Catherine looked up and smiled at Lindsey. Lindsey didn't catch the sadness in her eyes but her mother did.

"Thanks baby. But I think I'll just have to relax by myself tonight" Lindsey eyed her mother with an arched eyebrow but decided to leave it at that.

"Ok, see ya tomorrow" and she was out the door.

"You should listen to your daughter. She has a point. Sweetheart we all need someone" Lily said and smiled at Catherine before she closed the door behind her.

As soon as Catherine heard the door close she got up and walked upstairs and into her bedroom where she quickly shed her clothes before she stepped into her shower. The cascades of water made her feel better, but the soothing feel of the water could never replace what she was really craving.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&0&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"_Is it a crime to want a little human contact?"_

**Catherine Willows – Weeping Willows 5.22**

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&0&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**Catherine Willows' home**

12.20 a.m.  
March 12, 2007

_There were nights when the wind was so cold_

_That my body froze in bed_

_If I just listened to it_

_Right outside the window_

_There were days when the sun was so cruel_

_That all the tears turned to dust_

_And I just knew my eyes were_

_Drying up forever__   
_

After her shower Catherine had walked to her bed where she collapsed clutching the letter in her hands. She slept until the sound of her cell phone ringing woke her. She glanced at the clock and sighed. She had overslept by several hours and not made it into work but she had absolutely no energy. She fell asleep again without answering the phone.

About fifteen minutes later a black SUV pulled up in front of her house. Grissom sat in the car and looked at her house. Everything inside was pitch black and he was worried. Catherine being a little or a lot late happened rather often, but not showing at all and forgetting to call in never happened. Lucy in reception had tried her cell phone earlier but without any response. He had intended to pull her aside to discuss something private after work anyway, so he figured now would be a good a time as any, he now had her no-show as an excuse to bother her at home.

_I finished crying in the instant that you left_

_And I can't remember where or when or how_

_And I banished every memory you and I had ever made_

He flipped open his cell phone and call the first number in his speed dial. He let it ring until the answering machine kicked in. He hung up and redialed. He proceeded to repeat this process until she finally answered.

"Gil, I'm sorry I didn't call in, but I'm taking a night off and I'm not in the mood to talk." He sat back looking at his cell phone. She had hung up. That was it. Something was seriously wrong and he had a pretty good idea of what it was. He got out of his car and walked to her front door.

Inside Catherine could not sleep anymore. She had not heard the first couple of calls he made. She had ignored the many next. But eventually she had to answer. She knew she had not called in sick and felt obliged to let him know she was still alive but would not come in.

Now she was on her bed crying. On her side, her back to the door just like she had been so many times before. At least she was home alone. She didn't need to hide her heartbreaking sobs. Then suddenly she heard something. Someone knocking on her front door. She sighed and tried to ignore it. But the banging wouldn't stop. Her cell phone now started ringing. She picked it up and read the caller-id. It was Gil.

"Catherine open the door." She heard him shout. She felt like nothing made sense. She felt so small and alone and just wanted him to go away. She hated anyone seeing her cry and be vulnerable.

"Catherine please. I need to make sure you are ok?" he kept knocking on her door. She sighed heavily and slowly got up and began walking downstairs.

"Catherine I'm going to break the door if you don't..." Grissom stepped back as the door suddenly opened slowly. And what he saw truly frightened him. She was dressed in a white tank top, baby blue bra straps entwined with the straps of the top, she wore white loose pants and her feet were bare, showing off her perfectly nail polished toenails. Her hair was loose and all messed up and her cheeks still damp from the tears he knew had recently been shed. But to him she was beautiful as always.

"Gil, look I'm fine, still in one piece as you can see. I'm sorry about ditching work tonight, I promise to be back tomorrow" she began to close the door but he took a step ahead placing his foot inside her living room and his body close to hers.

"I'm not going anywhere, now let me in" his tone was soft but still demanding. She shot him a there-is-no-way-in-hell look but she saw the determined look in his eyes and knew it would require more to convince him.

"Gil..." she pleaded with him trying to push him back out using the door to let him effectively know he was crossing her personal boundaries.

_But when you touch me like this_

_And you hold me like that_

_I just have to admit_

_That it's all coming back to me_

_When I touch you like this_

_And I hold you like that_

_It's so hard to believe but_

_It's all coming back to me_

_It's all coming back it's all coming back to me now_

_There were moments of gold_

_And there were flashes of light_

_There were things I'd never do again_

_But then they'd always seemed right_

_There were nights of endless pleasure_

_It was more than any laws allow_

_Baby Baby_

"Catherine" he reached out for her but she drew back as if he had hit her. "Please let me in"

"Don't Gil... don't touch me." she stepped back and showed the door into his face. Grissom decided to go with another tactic.

"This is not about work" he stepped forward and was once again on the doorstep touching into her living room. Catherine flinched at his words. She was starting to feel like a dear caught in the headlights. Determined to get rid of Gil she stepped closer hoping he would back off. He didn't.

"Catherine you are hiding something from me. I want to know what it is. Look at you, it has obviously upset you," he said watching her relax a little. She took a deep breath. He apparently didn't know. She had a feeling he knew just seconds ago but now, she wasn't sure.

"Gil as I told you earlier, it's personal," she told him hoping he would back off.

_If I kiss you like this_

_And if you whisper like that_

_It was lost long ago_

_But it's all coming back to me_

_If you want me like this_

_And if you need me like that_

_It was dead long ago_

_But it's all coming back to me_

_It's so hard to resist_

_And it's all coming back to me_

_I can barely recall_

_But it's all coming back to me now_

_But it's all coming back_

He had had enough. He wanted more from her. Expected more. He wanted honesty. He used a little force as he pushed her away from the door and stepped into the living room closing the door behind him.

"You're lying to me!" he slowly walked towards her backing her up against the wall. At first she looked directly into his eyes with anger and confusion. But as he kept walking her courage failed her and she ended up wall against her back looking down at her feet. He knew she was struggling and he was very aware of the way situations like this had probably developed in the past when Eddie was involved. Therefore, he didn't get too close to her or touch her anymore. He just stood there in front of her until she lifted her head. 

"Catherine I would never hurt you, please just tell me what's wrong. I hate seeing you hurt like this" he couldn't help himself but reached out and softly stroke her cheek. He felt his heart sink when he saw big tears fall from her eyes. She cried silently but when he tried to pull her in for a hug she refused.

"I told you not to touch me," she told him. "Now please leave." she tried to push past him but he put his hands on each side of her head and slowly leaned in.

"Tell me the truth Catherine. Let me in" he looked her straight into her eyes but she refused to look at him.

"Gil let me go," he could hear the desperation in her voice. He tried to grab her but she was faster. She ducked under his arm and was gone. She ran up the stairs but he got to her before she reached the top.

"Catherine I'm not going to hurt you, please believe me I just want you to tell me what is going on" he was determined not to scare her. But he needed answers as well. She turned and looked at him but she didn't answer so he continued: 

"I just want you to tell me this isn't true" as he spoke he pulled out an off-white envelope. Catherine let out a loud sigh as she recognized what he was holding.

_There were those empty threats and hollow lies_

_And whenever you tried to hurt me_

_I just hurt you even worse_

_And so much deeper_

_There were hours that just went on for days_

_When alone at last we'd count up all the chances_

_That were lost to us forever_

_But you were history with the slamming of the door_

_And I made myself so strong again somehow_

_And I never wasted any of my time on you since then_

"Where did you get that" was her only response.

"Apparently my name was on the birth certificate so they sent me a copy as well" the words hit her like a ton of bricks.

They stood opposite each other without saying a word as seconds then minutes passed by. Finally someone broke the silence.

"Have you seen her?" that made her collapse. He had asked her the only thing she had not wanted to answer truthfully. He was by her side in an instant pulling her into his arms.

"I'm so sorry Gil," she whispered. She had no more tears only regrets; she felt like an enormous weight had been lifted off her shoulders, maybe this was finally the end of a lifelong net of secrets and lies. But she wasn't the only one. He had regrets of his own and a lot of questions.

"Catherine why didn't you tell me?" he asked. But he already knew the answer.

She slowly rose and untangled herself from him.

"Gil I want you to leave now," she got up and walked into the bedroom and closed the door leaving him alone out at the top of the stairs. Both of them struggling with all the history that had come between them, the past had suddenly become the present.

_If you forgive me all this_

_If I forgive you all that_

_We forgive and forget_

_And it's all coming back to me_

_When you see me like this_

_And when I see you like that_

_We see just what we want to see_

_All coming back to me_

_The flesh and the fantasies_

_All coming back to me_

_I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now_

**Celine Dion It's all coming back to me now**

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&0&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**END OF CHAPTER FOUR**


	5. Past to present

**Chapter five: **"Past to Present"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&0&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**Las Vegas Sunrise Hospital and Medical Center**

May 11, 2007

Catherine walked slowly down the halls of the hospital. She had left a sleeping Grissom and decided she could use a walk. Wandering down the quiet halls she tried to sort out all the things that had happened to her recently.

She passed the nurses station and one of the nurses looked up and gave her a warm smile Catherine smiled back. She came to the end of the hall and stood in front of the elevator. She really had nowhere to go but back to the room and Grissom was still sleeping. So she punched the elevator button for 'down'. There was a short wait before the elevator doors opened and she stepped. She looked at the many floors and finally pushed for the ground floor.

Standing in the elevator she leaned lightly against the wall as the elevator began moving, she counted the floors. Nine. Eight. Seven. The elevator stopped and the doors opened. An older couple walked in. She guessed that they were in their mid-seventies. She saw how the man reached for the woman's hand as the doors closed and how he kept looking at her even when the woman turned her head to press the button for their floor.

She felt herself tear up at the simple but loving gesture. A little shocked at her own reaction she tried to suck in the tears without being too obvious. She placed her hand over the almost invincible swell on her stomach. It had to be the hormones, she was sure they had been racing even before she and Grissom had become one in the form of a new life.

At the sound of Catherine trying to hide her emotional state of mind the woman turned her head.

"My dear, are you ok?" she reached into her purse and took out a tissue, which she handed to Catherine.

"Thank you, yes I'm fine." Catherine said feeling embarrassed. The couple turned fully towards her. The older woman looked at Catherine, she had noticed how Catherine's hand had rested protectively on her abdomen before reaching out to accept the tissue.

"You know we were just in there meeting out first great-grandchild. A beautiful little girl." The woman said before she gave her husband a big smile.

"Do you have little ones?" he asked Catherine. Catherine suddenly felt like this was it. The first time she had to say it out loud, it had been a long time coming and here she was in an elevator between two hospital floors. She felt a little uncomfortable and unconsciously moved her hand to rest on her abdomen.

She was startled when someone touched her other arm.

"I'm sorry, he didn't mean to upset you" the older woman took Catherine's free hand. "We are just so happy today".

"Oh no, it's ok. I have a ...well yes I have two daughters" Catherine said giving the man with a now slightly worried look on his face a beaming smile. His worry turned into a smile.

The elevator came to a halt. The doors opened and the couple stepped out. Just before they were gone, the woman turned her head and softly said:

"Good luck with your third." Catherine stood back speechless. She decided to go back to Grissom. She suddenly needed to see him. She went back into the elevator and punched the number ten. On her way up she thought back to the many times she had been at this hospital. And every time she had been the patient, this time she was the relative and it made her feel good. She was at another place in her life. A place she had always dreamt of but never dared think she would live to see. She took a deep breath and let her mind wander back to the life she had to return to after she had let the best thing that had ever happened to her slip away.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&0&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**Eddie and Catherine Willows home**

July 4, 1999

_Well she seemed all right by dawn's early light_

_Though she looked a little worried and weak_

_She tried to pretend he wasn't drinkin' again_

_But daddy left the proof on her cheek_

_And I was only eight years old that summer_

_And I always seemed to be in the way_

_So I took myself down to the fair in town_

_On Independence Day_

She felt the pain before she was fully awake. She lay facing the window on the floor besides their bed in the bedroom, wearing nothing but a thong. As her eyes slowly opened the bright light felt like it was blinding her. She closed her eyes again and sighed softly. She tried to move. Nothing seemed like it was broken but she opened eyes again and focused on her hand before her eyes she saw the dried blood. It was her own, no doubt. She touched the side of her face softly and heard her own sharp intake of breath as pain seared down her left wrist. Then she heard Lindsey talking down the hallway.

"Is mommy up?"

"I think she is still sleeping pumpkin. Your mother is a bit lazy, so how do you feel about you and me making pancakes, chocolate chip?"

The voices dimmed as they moved down the stairs.

"Damn you Eddie." She slowly got up and took a deep breath before she walked to the bathroom. No broken bones this time. She pushed the door open and winced. On second though her left wrist was if not broken then sprained badly.

The sight that met her when she looked into the mirror made tears spring from her eyes. This would be hard to cover with make up. A big purple bruise was forming around her right eyes and she had a fat lip. She supported her left wrist with her right hand as she examined her arm. She sighed. Above her wrist were the clear marks of several fingers wrapped around her arm. She knew she would not be able to work tonight. She ought to go to the hospital just to make sure it wasn't broken.

"Catherine, rise and shine" Eddie's voice startled her. She heard him coming up the stairs.

"Breakfast, your daughter has made pancakes."

She quickly closed and locked the bathroom door just as Eddie entered the bedroom.

"I'll be right down, let me just take a shower and get ready"

She heard him kicking something around on the floor. Probably her shoes or bag.

"Just make it quit" She heard him leave and let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. Stepping into the steaming hot shower she finally let the tears flow. She had promised herself no more. But she knew she needed to wait. She couldn't leave without Lindsey and where could she go. She had to find a solution and fast.

_Well word gets around in a small, small town_

_They said he was a dangerous man_

_Mama was proud and she stood her ground_

_She knew she was on the losin' end_

_Some folks whispered some folks talked_

_But everybody looked the other way_

_When time ran out there was no one about_

_On Independence Day_

She got ready and put on a heavy layer of make up before she walked downstairs.

"Mom!" Lindsey came running to her. "Look what I made"

"Baby, it looks amazing. Thank you!" Catherine kissed Lindsey before she sat down.

"Mom do you want OJ?" Lindsey tried to pour but couldn't hold the carton. Catherine reached out for it without thinking.

"Aouch..." she had used her left hand tears were welling up in her eyes.

"What happened mom?" Lindsey looked at her with worry. Catherine's eyes snapped up to Eddie's. She saw the anger in his eyes.

"I'm fine baby, just hit my hand in the shower before" Catherine consoled Lindsey. She picked up her fork and ate the pancake. Lindsey also ate in silence sometimes looking from her father to her mother.

_Let Freedom ring, let the white dove sing_

_Let the whole world know that today is a_

_Day of reckoning_

_Let the weak be strong, let the right be wrong_

_Roll the stone away, let the guilty pay, it's_

_Independence Day_

"Pumpkin get your things I'll drive you to school today and I'll pick you up after school and we'll go to Build a bear, how does that sound?" Eddie gave Lindsey a big smile and reached over and stroked her hair.

"Yay... but what about... is mom coming?" Lindsey looked at her mother.

"Lindsey your mother has to work. Like always" He added giving Catherine a mad stare. Catherine didn't want to pick a fight in front of Lindsey but inside she was raging with anger. Eddie always painted a bad picture of her when he had the chance. She decided there and then that this would be the last morning she and Lindsey would be exposed Eddie's bad moods, abuse and the bad life Catherine had led for way to long. And she knew whom she could turn to. He had been there all along, always letting her know he was waiting for her.

_Well she lit up the sky that Fourth of July_

_By the time that the firemen came_

_They just put out the flames,_

_And took down some names_

_And sent me to the county home_

_Now I ain't sayin' it's right or it's wrong_

_But maybe it's the only way_

_Talk about your revolution_

_It's Independence Day_

_Let Freedom ring, let the white dove sing_

_Let the whole world know that today is a_

_Day of reckoning_

_Let the weak be strong, let the right be wrong_

_Roll the stone away, let the guilty pay, it's_

_Independence Day_

As soon as the door closed behind Lindsey and Eddie she went upstairs. She pulled out a worn suitcase and threw in a few things from her closet. She went to the bathroom and got her make up. She opened the bottom drawer in her bedside table and reached in and turned her hand and removed a big white envelope she had plastered up unto the bottom of the top drawer, it held her passport, personal papers and some money. Then she went to Lindsey's room. She got some of Lindsey's clothes, her baby pictures and her teddy bear. She then reached in under Lindsey's bed and pulled out a small wooden box. She took a deep breath, she didn't have much time so she opened the box and picked up the small stack of off white envelopes. With them in hand and the suitcase in the other she ran to her car and was just around the corner when Eddie turned another corner.

Catherine ran the speed limit several times in order to get to Lindsey's school as fast as possible. It was hard to drive because her wrist was so painful but she ignored it.

She got to Lindsey school and almost ran to her class. She knocked on the door and went in.

"Mom?" Lindsey said confusion obvious in her voice.

"Mrs. Willows, is there a problem?" Dana, Lindsey's teacher said. She had always liked Catherine. Dana eyed Catherine with a worried look. It was obvious that Catherine had a blue eye.

"I just need to take my daughter with me" she said to Dana.

"Well, that is really against procedure..." Dana said but when she saw into Catherine's eyes she knew what was going on.

"Lindsey you can go with your mother" Catherine let out a sign.

"Thank you" she said. Lindsey began packing her things as the two women walked over to the door.

"You really should go to the hospital and have that wrist checked out." Dana said as she put her hand reassuringly on Catherine's good arm.

"I can't not now, maybe later. Thank you for this" Catherine led Lindsey to her car and they were off. No long after they found themselves outside a familiar townhouse.

_Roll the stone away_

_It's Independence Day__  
_**Martina McBride Independence Day**

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&0&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**Las Vegas Sunrise Hospital and Medical Center**

May 11, 2007

The doors to the elevator opened and Catherine stepped out into the hallway. She almost ran to Grissom's room.

"Hey Cather..." he greeted her but she was by his side her head on his chest before he could finish his sentence. He could feel hot tears seeping though his hospital gown.

"Hey Cath, what's wrong honey?"

"We, not I wasted so much time. I should have never gone back to Eddie."

"schhhhs... Cath honey what has brought all this on, I thought we had already had this talk. And the one good thing that came from that was Lindsey." There was a long pause before she whispered:

"I wish she was yours"

"Me too, but that doesn't matter Catherine, and you know that right?" She smiled a little. He started to stroke her hair as she slowly came down.

_I bet we've been together for a million years __  
__And I'll bet we'll be together for a million more __  
__Oh it's like I started breathing on the night we kissed__  
__ And I can't remember what I ever did before_

Then she heard the door open and someone entered.

"Mom are you ok?"

"Yes I'm fine" Catherine turned around and smiled at her two daughters. She reached out for them and they both walked over to Grissom and Cath.

He reached for Lindsey who happily jumped up and sat on the side of his bed. Her older sister was a little hesitant until Catherine reached out for her.

"Girls, Gil and I have some news we'd like to share with you" blue met blue when Catherine locked eyes with her oldest daughter.

_If it's absolutely perfect, the last puzzle piece__  
__ And it all just comes together like we had it planned _

_What would we do baby without us __  
__What would we do baby without us __  
__And there ain't no nothing we can't help each other through __  
__What would we do baby without us. Sha-la-la-la_

**Johnny Mathis and Deniece Williams Without us**

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&0&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**Carson Street Cafe**

129 Fremont St

Las Vegas

April 11, 2007

_I feel like I'm dragging you down a one-way street_

_I don't know which ways up_

_All I ask of you is to stay on your feet_

_That should be enough_

_If we stand around it could pass us by_

_We could give up now, and never even try_

Lori looked at Catherine. She felt her heart drop but picked it right up and smiled at Catherine. This was a case and nothing else.

"Lori, I work with the CSI. We are working on a big case at the moment. I don't know if you've heard of it. A serial killer is going after young classically trained dancers, and we don't know why, where he meets them or..." Catherine felt herself being unusually uncomfortable talking about the case. "...or where he kills them and therefore..." Lori had already gotten the picture.

"You need me to play the decoy? I've heard of the case, seen it on the news, read about it" she finished Catherine's sentence.

Catherine sat back speechless. This girl was something else. Catherine never liked stereotypes but a lot of the girls she herself had danced with had certainly not be straight A students, but Lori was different. She had immediately picked up on where the conversation was going. Catherine quickly gave Lori the basics from the cases and asked her how she felt about the plan Grissom had been forced to agree to by a media-loving Ecklie. Catherine hated the plan herself. At least until now, but maybe it was more because she really liked this girl. And they had looked at several girls some from the Nevada Ballet Theater, some of the Vegas show girls but no one fit the profile. Finally they had hit the strip clubs. Something Catherine had strongly opposed, then one day Warrick and Nick had come back saying they had found the girl but they wanted Catherine to approach her.

That was why she had been at The Flaming Flamingo that night. And what she had seen had convinced her within seconds. Lori moved very well, she was young, had clearly had some training and had the long blonde hair and blue eyes the killer went for. The hair had to be all the way down to the bottom and curly and the eyes piercing blue.

"So you can understand why we would like to use you. However, there is a lot of security involved because this is pretty risky. Therefore, we also need to do a background check up on you, if you decide to help us out. So you should go home and think it over for a couple of days first" Catherine advised.

"I have a question?" Lori said waiting for Catherine to nod.

"If you don't know where he meets or kills his victims then where should he ever get to meet me?" Once again this young woman impressed Catherine. Lori had been contemplating the case instead of her own involvement all the time Catherine had been speaking.

"Well my boss Gil Grissom is trying to figure all that out and if you decide to get involved we'll give you more info as soon as we get it" Catherine told her.

"So how involved can I be?" Lori asked looking straight at Catherine. "I always liked watching those crime TV-shows. I usually solve the case just from watching the trailer."

Catherine laughed. Grissom would not have liked that comment. Then she got serious again.

"This is a high profile case and you would be a decoy but you are not a trained CSI so there would be a lot of things you would not be able to get in on... but I will see what I can do" Catherine said. Their food came and they ate in silence for a while.

"Can I at least come down to the lab?" Lori asked. Catherine's eyebrow arched up. This girl knew quite a lot for someone who was taking her clothes off for a living. A GOOD living she thought with a smile. Again this was not your average college student gone stripper. She liked Lori and knew she would be putting herself on the line for the CSI.

"You know, I'll let you come for a visit first ok? It would only be in the lab. No field work, I would be doing paperwork but you could get to meet the guys and get a briefing".

"Cool, I'd really like that" Lori said. She was surprised. Catherine was really nice, not just after her as a decoy.

"Could you tell me a little more about yourself?" Catherine asked.

"Sure, I grew up in Indian Hills Nevada. I am an only child and my parents owned an art gallery." Catherine watched as the young woman spoke and noticed the sadness creep into her eyes.

"My parents were killed in a car accident a little over a year ago and I decided to come to Vegas" Lori said. She looked away not wanting Catherine to see her eyes.

"How old are you Lori" Catherine asked.

"Just turned 19" Lori said looking straight at Catherine. Lori saw how her mentioning her age made Catherine's eye quickly snap away from hers as if she was thinking about something else.

_To breathe in life and breathe out_

_Like tomorrow is today_

_Breathe in life and breathe out_

_It's not so long to wait_

_Breathe in life and breathe out_

_Wipe the dust from your sweet smile_

_And breathe in life._

The sound of Catherine's cell phone made them both jump.

"Willows. Yes I'm talking to her right now. I'll be back later, just need to... Yes but we need to go over the details later ok? What? Let me talk to him..." Catherine mouthed an 'I'm sorry' to Lori as she waited for someone to come on the line.

"Yes I'm here... I really don't know. No, I don't think so... that is why I never wanted you to know in the first place... Gil I don't care..." Lori could se Catherine was getting upset about something.

"Gil are you seriously suggesting that I'd... no way... what do you mean I don't... can't we talk about this later..." Lori picked up the menu and began studying it. She felt uncomfortable eavesdropping on Catherine's conversation but she couldn't help but listen to the heated argument. Catherine raised her voice slightly.

"Why are you bringing Lindsey into all of this... no I want to be the one to tell her...ok but wont you be there when I get back to the lab... I'll see you tonight then...how about Chinese" Catherine listened to the one on the other end. She suddenly laughed out loud.

"Right back at ya...and give Linds a hug ok"

She hung up and looked at Lori.

"Sorry, so do you want me to take you home before I go back to the lab?" Lori nodded.

They walked to the car and Catherine began driving. Lori gave her directions and pretty soon they pulled up in front of a cheap apartment building. Catherine remembered when she had to live in a place like this.

"Do you live alone?" Catherine asked; Lori nodded.

"Don't you have any other family you could have stayed with after your parents died?"

Lori looked at Catherine; and then slowly shook her head from side to side. Catherine looked at the young woman. She felt sorry for her but also felt a need to protect her. She told herself to snap out of it. All of this was simply brought on by what was going on in her personal life.

She reached into her purse and pulled out her business card. She was about to hand it to Lori when she turned it over, grabbed a pen and wrote her cell phone number on the back of the card.

"Just in case. Let me know what you decide. If you decide not to do it, that is fine as well" she reassured the young woman, knowing what kind of pressure she had put on her. "No matter what you can still visit me in the lab one day."

Lori was about to open the car door when she turned to Catherine.

"Did you ever... I mean..." she couldn't finish her sentence. Catherine looked at her signaling with a smile and a small nod for her to go on.

"Were you ever a... I mean did you ever dance? Like me I mean" Lori said in a small voice looking down at her hands.

Catherine was stunned. She didn't know what to say. She decided the truth would be the only right response considering this entire situation.

"Yes I did" Catherine said the younger woman's eyes snapping up to meet hers.

"Why did you ask me that?" Catherine said.

"I don't know" Lori admitted before she continued. "When I saw you at the club you walked around between the tables like one of the dancers, and I saw how all the men looked at you. Plus I heard some of the girls talking about you the other day," she finally confessed.

Catherine didn't know what to say.

"One of the girls had talked to this guy Nick Stokes, I think you know him" Lori watched Catherine's surprised look.

"He was there with this other guy, they were looking for possible girls to do the decoy job I guess. After they had been there one of the girls was talking about this dancer who had become a criminalist with the CSI and how she had quit dancing after she had met this guy who got her into the lab." Lori said.

Catherine was stunned. She had no idea her life story was out there, she guessed however that her revealed biological relations to Sam Braun had sparked a rumor or a story or two about her. She was pleased that Lori didn't say anything about that.

"For what it's worth your friend was right. I used to dance before I began working at the lab. Do you have any other questions?"

Lori looked pensive and finally shook her head.

"I'll call you all right" she said as she descended from the passenger seat and onto the pavement.

She waved at Catherine as she drove back to the lab before she walked to her apartment.

_I just want something real I can hold onto_

_I believe it's near_

_Life's too short to know the truth_

_Maybe it's already hear_

_We could throw ourselves into the fire_

_We could give up now and never even try_

_To breathe in life and breathe out_

_Like tomorrow is today_

_Breathe in life and breathe out_

_It's not so long to wait_

_Breathe in life and breathe out_

_Wipe the dust from your sweet smile_

_And breathe in life._

Lori locked herself into her small apartment. She shed her think jacket on the table in the small kitchen and left it there with her purse and keys.

She walked to the tiny bathroom and opened the cabinet. She took out a bottle of eye make up remover and splashed some on a piece of cotton. She removed her fake eyelashes before removing all her eye shadow and black eyeliner. She washed her face in hot water and finally moved her hands to the back of her neck. She removed hairpin after hairpin and finally lifted the blond wig she had been wearing off. Soft strawberry blond curls tumbled down to her shoulders and she watched herself in the mirror as tears slowly ran from her piercing blue eyes down her cheeks. She looked at the piece of paper she had tucked into the side of the mirror.

It said: Catherine Willows Criminalist CSI Las Vegas. She reached out and pulled it from the side of the mirror and turned it: 267-7342-203 Anytime, Catherine.

_We're chasing something we've dreamed of_

_is not always out of reach_

_It's never far away from us_

_'cause I believe that_

_To breathe in life and breathe out_

_Like tomorrow is today_

_Breathe in life and breathe out_

_It's not so long to wait_

_Breathe in life and breathe out_

_Wipe the dust from your sweet smile_

_And breathe in life._

**Lucie Silvas Breathe in  
**

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&0&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**END OF CHAPTER FIVE**


End file.
